Eleesha.com

Transforming Lives by Sharing her Personal Story of Inspirational Affirmations with You...



Eleesha's Personal Story (click here for brief biography)

The Early Years

I have briefly decided to give you some background to my life so far and share the sequence of events that led me from where I was, to becoming an Inspirational Affirmations Author. Since the age of three, it slowly began to dawn on me that I could see "people" that no one else could see lurking outside at the back of our home.

Fortunately, my mother realized I was too terrified to be lying or making it up and she did her best to console me whenever I saw "them". Sometimes, when she could take no more, she would march me outside to show her exactly where "they" were. I would point straight at "them", and she would look in their direction and yell at "them" to "go away." Unknown to her, "they" found all this to be very amusing and I heard and saw their reactions.

Seeing The Unseen

Although, "they" were very visible to me, from our back windows, my mother realized that I was safe indoors because "they" never followed me inside. With very few options left, she decided that the best solution was for me to remain indoors with all the curtains drawn. It was a drastic decision, which affected not only me, but the whole family. She preferred to trade peace and quiet for screams. This was the way we all lived for quite some time.

Isolated By What I Can See

Fearful and isolated, I never, ventured outside alone without an adult and when I did, I always covered my eyes. In fact, this was how I saw the outside world , through the little gaps between my fingers. Occasionally, my sister and brother would try to encourage me to come outside to play in the backyard. Although, I longed to join them, in the enticing wide open space, every attempt resulted in me seeing "the great men" (as I called them at the time). They would be there, smiling, staring and beckoning for me to come over and join them. Had they been a little more pleasing to look at, I may have been tempted to take them up on their offer, but I always lost my nerve and would promptly run back indoors for sanctuary, vowing to never go outside again.

Just as the situation had become untenable, my father took a promotion and that meant moving home. It was a complete relief to us all, when we were able to leave for our new home and my childhood terror finally came to an end.

A New Start

Life for the family returned to normal in our new home and I was able to play outside once more, as a carefree and happy child. Several years later, out of the blue, I started automatic writing. As the words flowed into my mind I felt compelled to write them down. Initially, it was all on scraps of paper, but I eventually hijacked one of my father's notepads and it progressed from there. I did not know why or how it started and I didn't even know (at the time) that it was called 'automatic writing'. I just came to accept it as being something that I did in the quiet of my own room. Most of what I wrote down made very little sense to me, and I rarely re-read what I had written. This was something I later came to regret after a serious incident, that would expose my 'automatic writing' secret to all my immediate family.

A Missed Warning

One morning, my father headed out early, on a business trip and was involved in a serious car accident. As soon as we learned of his accident, we visited him in hospital. When we returned, later that evening, my brother found my notepad, filled with pages of my automatic writing. He demanded to know who had written all these words. I reluctantly owned up to it, but it was what he read out, that came as a shock to us all. What I had written down, the night before, was all about a car accident and it was written in great detail and accurate enough to draw parallels between, what I had written and what had just happened to my father. I can only assume, that I had been given this information as a warning. I should have read it and warned my father about it, but I never did.

All Is Uncovered

I spoke more candidly to my family that evening, about my automatic writing. My sister said she had heard of it before and explained to me what it was. They all agreed that whatever it was; writing about the accident had been very uncanny. I was relieved that it was all out in the open, but I could not get the seriousness of it all out of my mind. That night, I remember feeling extremely guilty and anxious. I had written about an event, before it happened, if so, then - had I made it happen? Worst of all, I had not even read it, to warn my father. Whether he would have believed or listened to me, I will never know but the guilt I felt that day was very real.

Misguided Blame And Guilt

My father recovered well (or so we thought), until one day I accompanied him into town to visit the local Bank. As we waited to cross the street, he took my hand and held it tightly, he looked down, his eyes were glazed over, almost tearful and filled with such sadness. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he did "not want to live anymore." As we crossed the road and headed towards the Bank, my head was reeling from the shock of what he had just said. Why of all people, had he chosen to tell me this? By the time we returned home, I was overcome with even more misguided self guilt. I came to believe that my automatic writing gift had somhow been the cause of this awful sequence of events; and I felt it was time to put a stop to it. Sadly, that is exactly what I did, and in time, all these childhood memories, began to slowly fade away.

Leaving The Past Behind

I eventually grew up and settled into a normal life, got married and had my three children. After the birth of my second son, I was dealt a severe blow when he passed away after just six weeks. It was an extremely difficult time for me and to ease my pain and to try to cope with his loss, I started keeping a diary (journal). I found it to be very therapeutic and it had a healing effect on an emotional level as well. Yet, despite all my grief, I never allowed myself to engage in any automatic writing.

Tragedy Strikes Twice

Several years passed then, just over a year ago, tragedy struck, not just for the second but for a third time too. My mother who became ill, suddenly passed, away and then only five months later, my father died too. Nothing can prepare you in life, for the loss of a loved one, but to lose both my parents - so suddenly, shattered my world and the foundations of my life were rocked to the core.

A New Beginning

A few days after my father passed, I decided to buy a new notebook (journal), I just felt that if I ever had a dream about my parents, I would be able to write it down. I did not have to wait too long because 10 days after my father passed I had a very vivid dream about him. It answered a lot of questions for me, and when I awoke the next morning, I wrote it all out and later shared it with my whole family. I thought no more about it and when I eventually returned home from his funeral, I was close to exhaustion both physically and mentally.

Although, my family were very supportive throughout this period, I felt so alone. My husband was working overseas and although I was trying to come to terms with this double tragedy, I felt I was sinking. One day, whilst I was on the phone to my husband, he suggested I read a new book that had recently come out. I had never heard of it, and I was a little hesitant to take him up on his suggestion.

Finally, when my daughter's birthday came around in May 2007, I decided to treat myself to the audio version of the book, whilst ordering her present. When it arrived, I listened to it intently, by CD 3 something came to mind. Here I was, trying to come to terms with the loss of both my parents and realizing just how fast life was passing me by. That day, I thought very deeply about my own life and felt compelled to ask a Universal question of my own. "What was the greatest gift I could give of myself to Humanity?" Well the very next day - I mysteriously had - my answer.

Awakening To My Gift

Although it has taken me the length of my personal story to share this with you, I woke up the next morning, my mind swirling with inspirational affirmations; words of inspiration; and quotes; (that appeared to almost come out of nowhere, but I could hear the words loud and clear as if in a whisper.

Re-Discovering My Gift

I had rediscovered my "gift", I gave silent thanks to all those unseen and rarely ever heard, that were sharing their wisdom and contributing to these words of inspiration and affirmation. There was one inspiration in particular, that kept being repeated to me, it was my first and I heard it so clearly. It was so vivid I felt compelled almost '"pushed" to write it down right away. I felt as if; if I did not write it down, it would never stop being repeated to me. It was....

" Let me Share
the best of what I have
with the Universe
and in doing so,
Let the Universe Share
the best of what it has
- with me. "
- by Eleesha

After I wrote "Let me Share..", even more deep and meaningful quotes, words of inspiration and affirmations soon followed, one after another. I thought to myself, I will just keep writing them down just as they are given to me and I have continued to do so ever since. To this day. I have already amassed well over 3, 730 of these personal; deep; and meaningful; quotes of inspiration; affirmation; motivation; and empowerment; and the number keeps growing day by day.

The Decision To Share My Work

Initially, I thought I would just keep them in my notebook (journal) so that I could read them whenever I wanted, just to keep myself inspired. Then it dawned on me that - these words were not just meant for me - but were something I should be sharing, with everyone. I recalled that as a child, I had failed to share what I had written and I had paid dearly for it with my own self-guilt that had lasted decades. Now, I was not about to make the same mistake twice, because this was "The greatest gift I could give of myself to Humanity." and ultimately, my original question had already been answered.

The Start Of A New Journey for me and now you

In time, I have come to accept my "gift" of affirmation. I have come, over the past year and a half to not just share them, but to define them and through the process of interpretation and reflection, I have also come to understand their meaning; value; and the impact that they can have - not just on me - but on all those who have come to truly understand them as friends of my Link up site and by receiving FREE daily inspirational affirmations from me. Use the links below to find out more about these words of Inspiration and Affirmation, including further insight on their origins; the depths of my interpretation of them; and how they can also help impact and change your life - these words are for all and thank you!

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